The Spider Man

As we were sitting down, eating lunch yesterday, a man came by and waved to us through the kitchen window. Since the window was open, I just talked to him from the kitchen, instead of opening the door. Here's the conversation we had (more or less):

Him- Hello Ma'am. I'm from a bug spray place that you've never heard of. We're gotten a few calls from people in your neighborhood regarding seeing a lot of spiders and rats and ants around lately. We'll be spraying your neighbors' houses (then he named a few neighbors that I don't know) next week. Can we come by and spray your house then too?

Me- I don't think so. I haven't really seen any ants or rats lately. And the spiders we have, we really don't mind.

Him- But we have spray for the spiders.

Me- But we like the spiders.

Him- Your neighbors have reported seeing a lot of rats lately.

Me- That's strange. We haven't seen any. (I didn't say that we've done a lot of rat proofing in the past few years, which we have, but he didn't need to know that.)

Him- Have you seen a lot of ants?

Me- No. Actually, I don't think I've seen any ants yet this year.

Him- Well, we could spray for the spiders. Your neighbors have said there are more spiders around lately.

Me- Again, we like the spiders. They eat the bugs that fly in when the doors get left open. They aren't any trouble. As for there being more spiders around, of course there are. It's the beginning of summer and the egg cases are hatching. That's a normal thing to happen during this time of year. And not a problem for us.

Him- We'll be in the area next week, if you could be home during the day, we could stop by.

Me- No. We don't want to spray for bugs.

Him- Our prices are very low.

Me- We LIKE our spiders. We DON'T want to get rid of them. They eat the bugs that get inside, and the eat the spiders we don't like. We DO NOT want to get rid of them. Actually, we name them, and don't want to get rid of them.

Him- You, um, name your spiders? What do you name them?

Me- Well, there's Buck Buck McFaye, Fivey, and Eighty.

Him- Fivey?

Me- Yes. He only had five legs. He lived here for about year and a half.

Him- That's a long time for a spider with five legs.

Me- Yes. I think in the end, he got eaten by Eighty. Who had eight legs.

Him- Of course. So you don't want us to spray for bugs?

Me- No. Have a nice day, though!

Him- Bye.

I couldn't believe it took him so long to get that we didn't want to spray our house for spiders! There aren't any dangerous spiders here, so I don't know why he was so insistent about it. It's not like a Daddy Longlegs is going to run off with the baby or cause any trouble at all. But I do think that by the time he left, his head was spinning. Which just makes me laugh.